Mad as a Man in Love
by DestielMinion
Summary: This is my first Hatter/Alice fan fic. Alice has went through the looking glass and back to her world. How will Hatter handle it? Will he follow her? R&R Please! ;D
1. Angsty Lump of Hatter

(In his office, thinking about Alice after she left, wanting to go back to her, runs to the looking glass place, but the place is guarded. Has to ask the king (Jack) To let him go through the looking glass, then the end scene (very extremely short explanation))

Ch 1.

Hatter spun in his favorite chair absentmindedly as he thought about _her_. It had been a week since Alice had been pushed through the Looking Glass, into her world, and away from him. He stopped his seat as he thought about this, having gotten dizzy, but it wasn't from the chair. He thought about his last words to her before she left.

"Hell no? Pizza? What was I thinking!?" he exclaimed, slamming down his fist on the arm of his chair. Why hadn't he told her how he felt about her right then and there? He was a coward, that's why he hadn't said anything. There had been a crowd, he had tripped over his tongue, and before he could pick it back up, she was gone, pushed through the mirror before he could even get the words out of his thoughts and into his mouth. Hatter sighed, cradling his head in his hands. Knowing why didn't make it any easier for him to get over. He had happiness in his grasp and, like always, he had shoved it away. He growled at his pathetic nature as he pushed himself up out of his chair and over to his secret tea cupboard. His shop had been ransacked, but apparently then had missed his part of it.

Slowly, his hand wrapped around a bottle and pulled it out, and saw that it was the one he wanted. It was filled with a blue liquid and labeled "Forgetful Bliss". Perfect. His eyes strayed to his hat stand where the dark purple jacket had been hung that he had lent to Alice during her all too short visit to Wonderland. Did he really want to forget, for however long a sip would last? Even though it hurt, did he really want to forget everything they had done and gone though?

He tore his eyes from the jacket and looked back at the seemingly harmless bottle that he held in his hand. Was she really worth breaking the vow he had made himself to never take even one sip of the magical, addicting liquid emotions? His heart lurched painfully as he thought of Alice's face. Her eyes had been the same color blue as the liquid in the bottle. His own dark brown eyes burned with oncoming tears as he slowly set down the bottle, his fingers draping over-top of it.

"What are you thinking Hatter? You can't forget her, no matter how hard you try, or how much tea you drink." He whispered to himself as his hand slid from the bottle and fell to his side.

"You know you won't do it." Came an all too familiar voice from behind him. He spun around to see Jack Heart, self-proclaimed King of Wonderland, standing in his doorway. Immediately hot anger shot through his veins, mixed with envy and a tinge of sorrow. This was the man he had lost Alice to not once, but twice. He had her heart from the beginning, and then he forced her back into her world, away from Hatter, who loved her. And there he was, standing in Hatter's doorway wearing the grin that Hatter hated so much. His blond hair was combed and gelled neatly to the side, and he wore a crisp red suit, both his normal look. Hatter swore under his breath. He knew this was not going to be a very pleasant conversation, despite the smile on Jack's lips.

"What do you want?" Hatter grumbled as he walked over to sit in his favorite chair again, the "Forgetful Bliss" tea sitting in the same place he had left it. Jack fidgeted for a minute after Hatter asked his question before answering.

"Alice," he said, and Hatter hissed as his heart gave another painful lurch in his chest, "asked me to make sure you have everything you needed to be happy and comfortable. It was her final wish, actually." This made Hatter stop in the middle of sitting down, his eyes darting to her jacket, then Jack, tears building up in his eyes.

"She said that?" he choked out, his eyes burning with tears as Jack nodded. Hatter tried to swallow around the lump that had formed in his throat as he thought about what he had just heard. She was finally getting to go home, and she still cared enough to ask the King to make sure he, Hatter, was happy and comfortable? What hurt the most was that he knew that what he needed to be happy, had went though the Looking Glass and would never come back through again. A tear rolled down Hatter's cheek at this thought, which he wiped away hastily when he noticed Jack still standing in his doorway, a sympathetic look on his face. This just made Hatter angry.

"Don't look at me like I'm some pitiful, heartbroken bloke! I'm fine." Hatter snapped, but Jack continued to gaze at him. He looked down, taking his hat off and shaking out his wild brown hair and sighed, falling back in a disheveled heap in his chair. What really got to him was the glimmer of hope the particular thing Jack had told him had installed in him, which he had told himself he would never feel. It was only going to make it even harder for him to get over her.

"Just go." Hatter said, and he winced as he heard the emptiness in his own voice. It truly was the voice of a reckless man who had given up. Jack heard it too and as he turned, before he left, he said something Hatter would never forget.

"Don't do anything stupid, for her sake at least." He said, and then left a shocked Hatter to ponder his words. What had he meant by don't do something stupid? He had to admit, his voice had sounded pretty bleak, but that didn't mean he was going to go throw himself off of a cliff or something. Then again, maybe it did. He was swelling up with so much pain that he felt like the only way to relieve him of the pain would be to end it, end his miserable life, which would never be happy again because the one person he could ever have been happy with was gone forever, and he would never get her back. Hatter sighed and shook his head as he thought this. What was he thinking? Suicide definitely was not an option. Jack was right, as much as he hated to admit it. Alice would be heart-broken if she ever found out that Hatter had done such a thing. Plus, it just wasn't in his nature to die, even if he already felt like he had died inside. In truth, he had died. His heart had died as soon as Alice had disappeared through the Looking Glass.

He flung himself out of the chair, tears now streaming down his face as he tried desperately to get the thoughts out of his head. All he wanted was some time alone, some time to process what he was going through. He had to go somewhere, to get away from all of this, if just for a moment. In truth, he didn't trust himself to be alone, not with the thoughts that were floating around in his head. So, he gathered whatever things he had left, packing some clothes and hats and other essentials, and turning around to get one last look at his office before leaving. He could almost see the day they had met, Alice and Ratty standing before him, Alice dripping wet, Ratty asking for payment, the coat offer, then they left, and the memory disappeared. With one last glance at the tea that still sat where he had left it, he turned and left.


	2. Race through the Forest

(In his office, thinking about Alice after she left, wanting to go back to her, runs to the looking glass place, but the place is guarded. Has to ask the king (Jack) to let him go through the looking glass, then the end scene (very extremely short explanation))

Ch 2.

After getting off his boat Hatter mounted his horse Guinevere, given to him by Charlie, where he had left her and rode through the dark forest. He kept quiet, just incase the Jabberwocky was near-by. He rode swiftly through the trees, his eyes darting this way and that, watching for danger, but his mind was remembering the last time he had been through the forest with Alice. They had been trying to outrun a posy that had been headed by Hatter's ex best friend, Mad March. He shied away from thoughts about Mad March, the betrayal too hard for him to take at that moment.

He looked beside him and could almost see the memory he kept going through in his head. Landing on the shore, covering the boat, baiting the Jabberwocky, Alice gripping his arm tightly out of fear, worry in her eyes as he told her his plan to lead the monster back to the posy and telling her to climb up a tree until it was all over.

He could almost see Alice running the wrong way, the Jabberwocky taking off after her and not him, and his frantic chase after them through the wood. He remembered the fear that had surged through him as he saw Alice trip and fall, the Jabberwocky snapping its giant, slobbering jaws at her. He remembered the surge of adrenalin that went through his veins as he pulled back the old sludge hammer of a right arm and knocked the Jabberwocky square in the face and grabbing Alice and running, then the ground giving way beneath them, which was when they had met Charlie, the crazy White Knight.

Hatter rode on, losing track of time, and only using the sun to tell how far off night was. When the sun had disappeared behind the mountains, he slowed his horse to a trot, taking in his surroundings.

He was somewhere he had never been before. The tree's looked the same, but something about the wild ruggedness made it feel uncharted, like a place where nobody went.

_This looks like a good place._

Hatter thought as he stopped the horse and jumped off. He took off all the saddlebags he had filled on the horse and placed them by a tree. His eyelids drooped as he looked around again. This place would defiantly be good. Nobody would be able to find him there. They wouldn't even think to look there, wherever he was. He turned back to the tree and sat with his back against it and closed his eyes. The perpetual silence seemed to ring in his ears like he had just listened to his music too loud, but he managed to fall asleep.

_He raced through the dark trees, the branches and needles scratching at his suddenly exposed skin. It was then that he noticed that he had lost his coat, and wore just an under shirt and his pants. Blood trickled from the cuts the branches had given him as he ran through the trees. Fear gripped him as it dawned on him._

_She was gone._

_He looked around frantically, looking for any sign of life, but all he saw was more trees. _

"_Alice!"_

_He tried to scream, but he had no voice. He continued to run though the silence he now noticed surrounded him. The faint glimmer of hope he had kept deep down inside of him began to die, and as he felt this, he gripped his chest. The truth was he didn't want to lose hope. He wanted her to come back to him, and somewhere inside he knew he wouldn't let himself think she was never coming back. He would always wait for her, for however long it took for her to fall back through the mirror and back to him._

_Suddenly, something seemed wrong to him. The air seemed tense and he knew something bad was about to happen. This made him face faster toward his unknown destination. For some reason he had the strange notion in his head that she would be wherever he was going. This only fueled his legs as he ran. Then, he burst into a clearing where he saw something that almost brought him to his knees. _

_Alice lay in the middle of the clearing, her blue dress stained maroon red by the blood that seeped from a wound in her stomach. He noticed she had something clutched in her hand, and he sobbed silently when he saw it was his coat. He looked back down at himself, and now, instead of being his blood from the cuts, it was replaced by her blood, and he held a knife in his hand. _

_A hatred burned in him now as he looked at the state he was in, covered in her blood, and holding the weapon he knew was the one that has make the wound in her stomach. She deserved what he had done to her, even if he didn't remember ever doing it. It's what she deserved after leaving him all alone and depressed. _

_Tears streamed down his face as the hate was replaced by a deep sorrow. She didn't deserve what he had done. She deserved to live! She had saved his world, with his help, and had made him feel things he never thought he would. She deserved everything he couldn't give her. Then, a thought occurred to him._

_She didn't deserve him, she deserved more; maybe he should just give up and stop hoping she would come back, because she would be better off? She would be hurt if she stayed with him, he knew that. He couldn't keep her from her family. With this thought he raced to her side in the middle of the clearing, sobbing silently. He took the coat from her hand and used it to try and stop the bleeding. She had to live. She couldn't die, he wouldn't let her. He looked at her face and saw her eyes were open and they were staring at him menacingly. He was flooded with happiness at seeing she was still alive, until he saw the look in her eyes._

"_Alice…"_

_He tried to say again, but he didn't have a voice. She glared up at him, and her skin turned a dangerous white color. She grabbed his coat and threw it at him before standing up, the blood splattering as the coat his him. Before he could say anything else, she was gone._

*****

He awoke with a start, his eyes wide, and he could feel tears burning his eyes. He had killed her. He had let her go into her world alone, and she had died. He shook his head at that thought, his stubbornness taking control. No, she was a big girl, capable of taking care of herself if need be. She didn't need him.

With that thought he fell into a dark, dreamless sleep that was worse then having the dream. The next time he woke up, he was drenched in sweat and had ended up lying on his side. His hat, having fallen off, lay on the ground next to his head. He snatched it up, looking around.

Suddenly, he could feel eyes staring him down from, a tree maybe? He glanced up, and to his surprise, he saw a cat perched on the lowest branch, watching him.

"Well, hello there Mr. Hatter." the cat spoke before jumping from the branch, landing on the ground with its cat-like reflexes, its tail twitching. Hatter stared at the cat, dumbfounded before it dawned on him. This was one of the cats, the dream creating mad creatures that liked to torture people with their mad sense.

He stood up quickly, taking a step back. Was this creature the reason he had the dream?


	3. A Suprise Visit

Ch. 3

The cat winked at Hatter, its mouth splitting in a toothy grin. Hatter eyed the cat like it was a dangerous animal. In truth, they were. Cheshire Cats were very dangerous, when provoked.

"What is it you want?" Hatter asked cautiously, watching the cats' every move. The cat just grinned again.

"I want to help. You seem to be of two minds on something." the cat said, coming a little closer. Hatter didn't move, not wanting to provoke any of its nasty antics.

Something did strike him as odd about this particular cat, though. It wasn't quite speaking in riddles, or trying to trick him to his death by telling him the wrong way to go, like they'd been known to do.

His family had been friends with the Cheshire cats once, but that was a long time ago. Hatter couldn't hold them to it. They were slimy creatures, and everyone in Wonderland was taught to steer clear of them unless they wished to be dead.

"Would it help if I said I was sent by a friend?" this peaked Hatters interests. Someone had sent this Cheshire cat to help him? The only person he could think would be crazy enough to do something like that would be that old, kooky knight Charlie.

"Yeah, that old knight sent me to watch you and make sure you didn't do anything that you would regret." The cat said with a laugh, rolling around on the ground on its back, the grin still spread across its face.

Hatter eyed the cat, flexing the fingers of his right hand. It began to tingle as his mistrust for the cat grew. What was this cat talking about when he said that he was of two minds on something? How could it know about Alice? Or was it just trying to cold read him?

He was a conman, he knew all about cold reading and hot reading people. Using their reactions and expressions to guess at their weakness or the answer to the question, whatever it may be. He had to use those a few times in his line of work. He had never had to use it on Alice though.

She was always open with whatever she felt, and even if she didn't say anything out-right, he could always read it on her face or in her eyes. That's what he loved most about Alice.

Wait, was love the right word? Did he really love her? Or was it just a made up feeling, and even if it wasn't, did she feel the same?

"Oh, it's the same thing, over and over with you." The cat said with a sigh, rolling back onto its feet. "Boring!"

Hatter eyed the cat again. How could it tell what he was thinking, or dreaming for that matter? He knew that they were mystical creatures, and were as old as Wonderland itself, but he didn't know much about the powers they possessed.

"So, I see you caught on to it already. You are clever, aren't you, Hatter." The cat said sarcastically with another grin. Hatter looked at the cat, knowing that it wouldn't do any good to ask it how it knew his name. Apparently they had a way of knowing things that nobody else did.

"So, your predicament is you don't know if you feel that emotion called love for this Alice and if she feels the same right?" the cat asked, becoming serious. They often bounced around between moods fairly quickly, so this didn't surprise Hatter.

He nodded curtly, not ready to admit it out loud. The cat sat, its eyes locked on Hatter's as it seemed to read him; his thoughts, his dreams, everything. He looked away, but he was unable to stop the memories it brought forth.

The first day he had met Alice, saw her standing, soaked to the bone in his office, their bit of trouble with DoDo, their run in with the Jabberwock, meeting Charlie, rescuing her from the casino, the almost kiss (this caused him to wince as he relived being shot down by Alice as she chose Jack over him), following her, his attempt at a rescue, which lead to being tortured. The memories of being tortured left him breathless and panting, sweat beading on his brow.

"Enough." He warned, his accent deepening with the pain. The cat chuckled deviously, but the memories disappeared like a whiff of smoke from the front of his mind.

"Just trying to get a feel for you and your Alice." The cat said simply, obviously trying to seem harmless. Hatter knew better though. He also knew that back when his family had been chummy with the Cheshire Cats, they had often gone to them for answers to problems they couldn't solve.

The cat sat for what seemed to Hatter like hours before thinking again. No doubt pondering the many, many things that it had seen, Hatter thought as he waited. The cat turned to him suddenly; it seemed like it would speak, but then decided on something else as quick as a flash.

"First, there is something you must do for me." The cat said lazily as it lay down and propped its head up with its elbows, acting as if it hadn't just changed its mind on what it was going to say. Do cats even have elbows? Hatter found himself thinking that question before the cats words washed over him.

"Wait, you want me to help you in order for you to give me what I want?" Hatter spelled out, looking at the cat disbelievingly. The cat nodded as it rolled over onto its back, yet its head staying right side up.

"You got it." It said as the trademark Cheshire grin spread across its face. Hatter sighed as he closed his eyes and passed a hand over his face. Now it started acting like a Cheshire Cat. But he had no choice, he had to know.

"What is it you want me to do then?" he asked quietly, his eyes, shadowed by his hat, gazed downward. The cat seemed to think about it for a minute, its head finally rolling the way that fit its body. Then, with another haunting grin, its body began to slowly disappear until all that was left was its grin, which disappeared too.

Hatter looked around, confused.

"Wait! What is it you want me to do??" He yelled, spinning around in circles slowly. A chuckle seemed to waft through the air and into his ears.

"Find the Temple of the Ancients, and take from the heart of the temple the Book of the Ancients, then bring it to the birth place of all Wonderland." the voice spoke from nowhere and everywhere at once, and another chuckle followed before everything was quiet.

*********

Hatter rode as fast as he could through the forest, unable to stop his head from reeling with thoughts. He had no idea what the Temple of the Ancients was; let alone the Book of the Ancients. There was only one person he could think of that would know what the crazy cat had been talking about.

Before long he was back in a familiar part of the woods and heading toward Charlie's camp, and home; the place that was once the throne room of the Red King, whom Charlie had served before the Queen had came to power.

Charlie seemed to be the oldest Wonderland person Hatter had ever met, so he probably knew something about what the Cheshire Cat had been babbling on about. Maybe he would even know where it was, the Temple of the Ancients, and Book of the Ancients.

He came riding into Charlie's camp, and as usual, Charlie was asleep. He couldn't resist, so for old times sake he snuck over to the sleeping Charlie in his hammock. He counted to three in his head before anything happened.

"CHARLIE!" he yelled, his mouth close to Charlie's head so he bolted up in a snap, his eyes wide as he lept from his hammock, babbling on about intruders, and something about a ghost named Fittens when he noticed it was Hatter.

"You nearly scared me half to death!" he scolded, raising his bearded chin defiantly. Hatter shrugged, grinning. Charlie shook his head as he placed the make-shift teddy bear he had been sleeping with back in his Hammock.

"What is it you need, Harbinger?" he asked, looking around suspiciously before retuning his attention to Hatter. He sighed, then proceeded to tell Charlie all about the Cheshire Cat that had said it was sent by Charlie to help him, and that it needed him to do something in order to give him the answer. Hatter left the part out about the thing he needed help with involved going after Alice.

Charlie nodded, listening intently to every last word Hatter spoke. When he was finished, Charlie stood, very quietly, his eyes moving to the expanse of trees above and around them. Hatter sighed, hands on his hips as he waited for Charlie to get out of his little trance, but it didn't seem like that would be happening any time soon.

"Charlie!" he spoke urgently, his left eyebrow raising, a little in skepticism on his face as Charlie's eyes snapped back to him, a sheepish grin on his face.

"My apologies Harbinger. It is so very easy to get lost in the Black Arts." He said, chin rising, eyes widening, and eyebrows shooting up at the mention of the black arts he spoke of.

"Well that's all very well and good, but can you answer my question? What was that cat talking about?" Hatter asked, exasperated. He liked Charlie, but sometimes his actions were a little hard to handle.

"Mmm I don't know." He said dismissively, looking over to his horse, Guinevere for a moment. Hatter shook his head. He was getting fed up with this old mans games.

"But you're the one who sent that bloody cat to me in the first place!" he said heatedly, his fingers clenching into fists and unclenching as he spoke. Charlie continued to look at Hatter with a lost expression, so he sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

Maybe he should just give up on getting his answer. But that wasn't like him. No, he would stick with it till the end if he had to. He wasn't one to give up easily, especially when it came to Alice.

Then it hit him. Following orders, from a cat no less, wasn't like him either. He could get the answers for himself without helping that feline menace. But, then again, Alice had a way with him, unlike any other girl he had ever known.

When he was with her, he went weak, and didn't know how to do anything. That was just when they were safe. When Alice was in danger, he had went crazy, throwing himself in harms way, possibly condemning himself to death, all for her, all for her protection.

All of his feelings for her came back to him in a jumbled mess, and he felt the fear and panic rising inside him. Hell, he could use the help. When it came to Alice, he knew what it was he felt, but he just wasn't ready to admit it to himself or to her for that matter.

**A/N:**** Sorry it took so long, I have a bit of writers block when it comes to this fanfic. Lately I've been working on my other one, Chocolate, Creamcake, and Chaos. If you could maybe give me a few good ideas to get me past my writers black, that would be greatly appreciated ;D**


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